WOMEN: There is more to Life than just your man!

Wouldn’t it be rather boring if all there is to a woman is being with a man? Wouldn’t it have been a colossal waste if women were only created for men? Yet, these few days what I have come to realize is rather mind boggling. My findings have rather been disturbing than appealing. In my study of the women in my life, I mean those I consider close to me (including my ex-girlfriend), I suddenly discovered a shocking reality; all of a woman’s life seems to revolve around a man or men!

I know you are probably saying “so what’s the big deal?” Well, the thing is this; what role is a man in a woman’s life? Is he “part” of her life or “the whole” of her life? It would surprise you to know that most ladies or women have the mindset that a man or men are not “part” but rather the “whole” of their life! Believe me; I was equally astonished by this reality. Naturally, they wouldn’t admit this plainly as I have just put it, but then their every action and reaction point to this rather troubling reality.

I mean, how else would one qualify this? If two out of every three women consider being with a man or getting married as the number one focus, priority and goal of their life? Here is what I mean. I asked my ex-girl to write out her 5-year goal and here is what it looked like;

§ Get admitted into school to study pharmacy

§ Get married and pregnant with first child

§ Own a duplex of her own

§ Get employed in a better company in order to earn more

Out of mere curiosity, I asked her to tell me which one of the goals from the list was more paramount, exciting, inspiring and motivated her the most. Well, I am sure you most have guessed her answer; getting married! Or in her words, “knowing who or the man she’s going to end up with.” Somehow, I wasn’t too surprised knowing how much she loved me and wanted us to be together, hopefully, forever; it was only natural for her to pick that as her main priority for the next five years.

But then, the surprise came when I showed it to another woman, this time, a married woman with three kids. I asked her the same question and got the same answer! While some may say this happened by accident (coincidence) or that it’s their nature (providence), I say it’s a matter of misplaced priority (nonsense). I don’t get it, how can the centre, main agenda, central focus of a woman’s life be a man? Pardon me if I a may sound naïve, but is being with a man all there is to a woman? Are women created only to end up as men’s property? Do women exist for the purpose of men? Were they solely created by God just for the sake of men? Isn’t there more to a woman’s life apart from ending up with a man?

Ladies, I have news for you. You may be wondering why this is coming from a man, shouldn’t I be supporting the motion rather than opposing it? My answer is a resounding NO! Women, like all of God’s creatures were created for much more greater purpose than merely being a man’s companion! God did create women to be marriageable, but never did he make it the sole aim of their existence. There is more to being a woman than just being with a man. As clearly as a woman looks differently from a man, so also is her destiny different and much bigger than just being with a man. You ladies have as much rights as a man to pursue your destiny. With respect to the fact that a man truly is a woman’s head; being the head is not quite the same as being the “whole” of her life. Your role as the head is to be her leader, and not her owner. You are to help her become better than what she was before she met you. You are to develop, nurture, aid and empower her and not to hinder, possess and frustrate her dreams. As long as such dream doesn’t obstruct her role as a wife and mother to your kids, I see no reason why a man shouldn’t be in support of a woman’s dream and destiny.

Women, being married or being with a man is not all there is to your life! You have a much bigger role to play in the universe than just living with a man you call your husband or partner. Don’t make marriage the end of your life, is just a part of your earthly responsibilities and obligations to God your creator as he has commanded us to be fruitful and replenish the earth and to be joined in holy matrimony with a man. It’s not an end in itself; it’s a means unto a greater end; one which both of you; the man and the woman must continually work towards.

ADVICE FOR ENTREPRENEURS -it’s not about the money!

MONEY IS THE REWARD (by product) AND NOT THE GOAL (purpose) OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Listen, entrepreneurship is much more than making money, it’s a calling. And like every other calling, it’s people-centered’; it’s never about you, it’s all about others. It’s a calling to serve; it’s not about what you can accumulate (money), it’s about what you can contribute (service). Why do I say this? A calling is a strong urge to follow’ a particular career or do a particular type of work. The emphasis here is on the word follow’, and to follow means; to come after somebody or something. That is to say that, you being an entrepreneur cannot choose yourself; you are chosen. Thus, entrepreneurship is not something you suddenly choose to do (pursue), it’s something you are called to do (follow). In other words, you are not the doer’, you are only an instrument. It’s not about you getting (accumulation); it’s about you giving (contribution). I know this sound a little strange, so I am going to explain further.

Firstly, who is an entrepreneur?

In my experience as a small business consultant and also as a manager of a business, I came to this singular conclusion that an entrepreneur is simply a problem solver, no more, no less. This definition is inspired by the fact that entrepreneurs are nothing if they are not meeting the needs of a particular group of people, known as the customers or clients as the case may be. Without these people, an entrepreneur would never have considered starting a business in the first place. Here is what I mean; the starting point of every entrepreneur is either the recognition of a need (problem) or the conception of an idea (solution). When an entrepreneur recognizes a need (problem), he goes in search of a solution (product or service) to meet that need. And when an entrepreneur conceives an idea for a product or service (solution), he goes in search of a group of people who have a need for it (problem).

In either case, the entrepreneur is always in search of something (looking) or going after something (following); whether it’s the person with a need (problem) or an idea of a product or service (solution). Thus, an entrepreneur doesn’t exist for’ themselves or by’ themselves; they depend on something out there; something beyond them before they can birth whatever it is they carry. They don’t do, they are being used. They don’t create, they are instruments for creation. They don’t start the process; they only complete what has been started. They see a need they didn’t create (problem) and find a way to fill it (solution). They conceive an idea for a product or service (solution) and find those in need of it (problem). In other words, an entrepreneur is but an instrument of nature; a servant to customers functioning as a problem solver to humanity. This is why entrepreneurship is a calling and not a money-driven venture. And like every other calling, it has its own reward; a leader raises followers, a teacher grows students, an inventor attracts recognition, a missionary wins souls, and an entrepreneur gets profit, this is where money comes into play.

Therefore, going into business with the singular goal of making money is as simple as putting the cart before the horse. What most people fail to realize is that, money is a reward an outcome. It doesn’t just happen on its own; it is the result or outcome of a particular activity or input. It never did or will ever happen on its own, so making it the goal of going into business is choosing to fail. This is because the purpose of a business is not to make profit, but rather to deliver value to customers. Businesses don’t exist for profit sake; they exist for customers’ sake. And these customers exist because they have a need or problem that needs to be solved; therefore anybody fit enough to solve these problems automatically becomes an entrepreneur. Hence, an entrepreneur is someone solving a problem (input or activity) for a set of people (customers or clients) and gets money (result or outcome) as a reward for being able to solve that problem. Understanding this chain-like relationship is what clearly makes entrepreneurship much more than making money.

The goal of any entrepreneur going into business should not be what he will get (result or outcome) but rather what he will give (input or activity), this is because what he gets (money or outcome) is directly tied to how much he can and is prepared to give (effort or input).Your capacity to make money as an entrepreneur is greatly dependent on how much problem you can solve or solution you can proffer to clients’ needs or problems. So why focus on the end, when the end is unattainable without the beginning? Your focus as an entrepreneur should be this - what problem am I solving for people? How well am I solving this problem? How many people out there have this kind of problem and needs my solution? How may I reach them? Who else is out there solving this same problem for people too? How may I do better than this other person? These and many more customer focused questions are what an entrepreneur should go into business to answer.

You as an entrepreneur have but one task; to either solve one problem for so many people or solve many problems for a few people. This is what your focus should be, because your reward (money) is tied to this. The more people you solve one problem for, the more money (reward) you stand to get and the more problems you solve for a few set of people, the more money (reward) you also stand to get. In conclusion, your task is to focus on the input part of the chain-like relationship. As long as you are consistently answering and doing the input part well, the outcome will happen automatically. It’s just understanding this relationship and doing your own part that matters and clearly differentiates the successful entrepreneurs from the failures.

LESSONS FROM LIFE’S SADDEST EXPERIENCE -LOSS OF LOVED ONE

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
Jack London
American Author

There is but one way to live, one way to Life, and that is to be MAD. What happens after your birth? What happens after your death? How often do these questions cross your mind? The world is full of uncertainties, a lot wonder through life asking the wrong questions and expecting the right answers; “How can I make my life better?” “How can I make it in life?” “What have I come here to do?” My dear friend, if these are some of the questions you’ve been asking yourself or people in the past, I suggest you stop right now and start asking the right questions. To get the right answers you’ve to ask the right questions.

In 2006 I lost three relations, all of whom were close to me. This incidence further opened my eyes to see some hidden realities about life, it has forced me to ponder more on the subject of life, living and dying. The experience has taught me so much which I would like to share. I have been asking questions and have dedicated my time to this task; I discover that a lot of people are not very clear on what this life is really about. We’ve all been focusing on the wrong things, I have been guilty of this in time past, I often thought the world revolved around me. Its funny how we think at times because we came into the world alone our thinking is sometimes limited only to ourselves. Life is often viewed from our own eyes; everything we do is influenced by a “self-centered” consciousness. Most of the time, it’s what You want, what I want, what she wants, what he wants, what we want, no one seems to be concerned about what “They” want or what “others” want. We are so personal in our day to day approach to life, no one cares about the next person and the next person doesn’t care any less about you either. Every man answers to himself, the world has become competitive rather than cooperative. We are in a race against time, we are in a fight against ourselves, it’s a battle for “self”. We seem to have all forgotten, according to the words of an American Author and Clergyman, Henry Van Dyke “What you possess in the world will be found at the day of your death to belong to someone else. But what you are will be yours forever”.

How early do we forget who we really are? Things that really matter have been sacrificed for those that don’t matter. Material possessions, personal achievements, fame, power, vain glory, these and many more are eating deep into who we really are and why we are really here in the first place. William Arthur Ward rightly affirmed this in his words-

“We are more than what we do…
Much more than what we accomplish…
Far more than what we possess.”

On hearing the news of the demise of my three relations, i noticed something peculiar about life, living and dying. The same comment was passed about the three of them. I discovered that at the end of their lives, no one was interested in what they had hoped for, what they had worked for or the material things they had left behind. People spoke only of one thing, whom they had lived for; at the end of their lives, people remembered only the impact they had on another’s life. I want you to take note of this truth, its shocking that they didn’t talk of “what” they had lived for, but of “whom” they had lived for. I’m sure they had dreams, might have achieved some and have died with many unfulfilled, but none was mentioned. Looking back at their lives, of all they did, nothing seemed more important than that which they did to others. The whole sum of their lives could only be measured, not in terms of how much they had in the bank, the kind of cars they had, the sort of clothes they wore or houses they lived in, the worth, the sum total of their life was measured in terms of how much lives they had touched. This is where the truth lies, the answers to all our questions, it is at the end that we really understand why we have been sent here in the first place. Listen, the whole of life, living and dying is for one thing - for others! You can have all that money can buy, have all the power to command a nation, at the end none of this would matter, because you have not lived but have only existed. You were seen by the world but felt by none. Your purpose here is not to make an entrance into the world; your purpose is to leave an impact behind in the lives of others when you are gone. You are not here to make a living; you are here to be MAD (make a difference).

“To have striven, to have made an effort, to have been true to certain ideals–this alone is worth the struggle. We are here to add what we can to, not to get what we can from, life.”
Sir William Osler
Canadian Physician and Teacher

I know not of another way to life, living and dying, than to be MAD - making a difference. In my study of this subject, i have come across lots and lots of proof for this principle. It is not one of the ways to live, it is not a way to life, it is THE way to life, living and dying. It is all that we have been sent here for, you have not been given life to make yours better, you have been given to make others better. The reason why you’re here is not to make an impression, but to leave an impression. This is what I mean in a Cherokee expression; “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice”. You must realize my friend that your life is not really yours, but for others, it is in the giving up of our lives for others that we really find ours. History is filled with men who found their purpose in life, only when they began living for others. If you are looking for answers to making it in life, looking for ways to making your life better; the right place to look is not at yourself, it is in looking at others that we find the right answers. This is the bottom-line -

“Your life will not be any better than it already is, until you make a deliberate decision to be making a difference – to be mad!”

You must change your approach, your view of life from the “self-centered” point of view to the “people or others centered” view of life. Bill Gates, didn’t find wealth and fame by producing software programs for himself, he became rich by producing what others needed. It wasn’t about himself, what he wanted or needed, it was all about others. Henry Ford was so wealthy and became a great industrialist not because he sort after what he needed, but because he wanted a better life for all Americans; that every family should own a car. Angelina Jolie, world renowned movie star had all that fame, money, beauty could get, yet still felt that she had no direction in life. She found her purpose when she looked beyond herself. Since 2001 till date as UN’s Goodwill ambassador, she’s been in the business of making a difference in war torn countries and underdeveloped nations around the world. For those of you, who seek a better life; listen to what she has to say in her own words;

“You could die tomorrow and you’ve done a few movies, won some awards – that doesn’t mean anything. But if you’ve built schools or raised a child or done something to make things better for other people, then it just feels better. Life is better”.

What is that thing that you seek from life? Success, wealth, health, fame, power, peace, happiness, fulfillment? I say this is surely as the world remains; you have to be making a difference. There is no other way; this is the only way…The MAD way.
Friend, you have heard it all, now the choice is yours, you can either go out there and seek what you want by making the world different or you can go out there and reach out to others by making a difference.  I leave you with the words of Mike Dooley …”Life’s not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it’s about doing, being and becoming. It’s about the choices you’ve just made, and the ones you’re about to make, it’s about the things you choose to say - today. It’s about what you’re gonna do after you finish reading this”.

I hope this has helped someone out there. If you have been inspired by this, feel free to direct someone to this link or copy and send this to anyone who you feel needs this. My aim is that it gets to all those who want to be MAD.

BRANDING: What’s the essence of being different?

What does it mean to brand?

To brand simply means to position and present your business, product or services in a unique and attractive way so as to communicate the usefulness or value in your business, product or service. It is a deliberate attempt of making what your business, product or service is and can do known to the prospective market or buyer. It involves portraying what makes your business, product or service unique and also communicating its inherent usefulness.

Branding is a marketing tool, and thus, it is a deliberate act. It’s not something you stumble upon; it’s a thing that is creatively developed. A brand is a living entity. It has its own lifespan, personality, and characteristics. Therefore, if you know you can’t make a difference (be useful), don’t try to be different (branding). The following are what you should know about branding – being different (uniqueness) and making a difference (usefulness).

What’s the essence of being different?

· To communicate your difference (uniqueness)

· To be making a difference (usefulness). That is, to be constantly doing something valuable with the thing or idea that makes you different.

There’s no use being different (branding) if you can’t be making a difference (useful).

To be different you need to have a message. Your ability to make a difference lies in how well you are able to communicate that message. This is what branding is all about – finding uniqueness and usefulness in what you do and communicating this to the world or the market as the case may be.

To be different, your message must not only be compelling (emotional) it must also be convincing (logical). Your ability to strike a balance between these two is what guarantees how much influence your brand will be able to command in the marketplace.

To be different you need to focus only on your strength. No one ever makes a difference with their weakness; to be different it takes strength. Therefore, while working on being different (branding), don’t focus all your efforts And resources on areas that you are weak – not very good at, rather focus on those areas where you and your organization are naturally gifted and good at. This is because people get things done effectively and efficiently with their strength and not their weaknesses.

To be different, you need to carve a niche for yourself. Don’t try to do everything by being jack of all trade; you will only end up being the master of none, because you would have succeeded at nothing.

To be different, you have to know yourself well. You can’t claim to be different when you can’t even point to what makes you different (unique). Being different, like I said earlier is communicating a message; a message of what makes your brand unique and useful to the market. Part of communicating that message entails knowing your product and services well, because this is what the market recognizes as your brand. Product or service knowledge is very crucial in your quest to be different.

To be different, you have to spend money. Marketing costs money! In order to get the best possible returns on your branding agenda, spend your money where your eyes can see them. Don’t put your money where you can’t easily track it, this is why I said focus majorly on your areas of strength. This is where the brand lies, thus this is where you should put your resources and efforts.

To be different, you have to be consistent. You don’t claim to be different in one area today only to find yourself in another field tomorrow. This will confuse the market you are trying to reach. Let them know what you stand for and be ready to stand there for long. Change when it is absolutely necessary and when you have got enough proof to defend the change.

To be different, pick or choose a ground where you are absolutely sure of winning. It costs a lot to be different; don’t waste your time, money and effort on an idea that is not likely to sell. Be careful, being different is not the same as being stupid!

While choosing your brand message; that is the message that you will use to make and communicate your difference (brand); don’t pick a message you can’t defend. Be sure to have all it takes to defend that message. Your ability to defend the message consistently is what it means to be a brand. Ask yourself if you have got the human, financial, material and technical resources needed to successfully enforce that message. Remember, the whole essence of branding (being different) is to make a difference (be useful). So if you can’t or don’t have what it takes to enforce that message (make a difference) don’t bother picking the message (being different); look for another message or wait till when you can defend that message.

THE MEANING OF LIFE (3)

REDEFINING LIFE

When I was a teenager, I remember sitting in my biology class and listened to my teacher then explain the meaning of life. Life he said was the vital component of any organism that made it a living thing. That is, without life, all that exists today on the surface of the earth would never have been. So it was concluded biologically, that whatever moves, reproduces, grows, feeds, excretes, breaths, feels and eventually dies has life. This means, life is that invisible part of any living thing that allows it to carry out all of the functions just mentioned. Come to think of it, as humans, the moment we come into this world so much seems to be expected of us. As a child you’re expected to crawl at a certain time and walk at another. The truth is this; as far as you are alive, you’ll perpetually be subject to expectations. You are liable to Life. Life will continuously make demands on you till you die. As humans, at every given time, we are expected to be doing something. We are expected to accomplish a certain task; there is always an end for us to meet. Life naturally is demanding. We are indebted to life. Nature itself has made it so, where there is life, there are expectations. Some expected end that needs to be met. As long as a tree has life, it’s expected to bear fruit. As far as the world remains; there will be nights and there’ll be days, seed time and harvest time would come and go - expectations would never cease. This is the force that binds the world; life will keep happening, with or without you!

There are different levels or stages of expectations as well as different sources. As kids nature at different levels expects us to grow, with each growth comes different stages and sources of expectation. Our level of expectations comes from different sources; our parents, peers, nature, teachers, society and even ourselves. Our levels of expectation vary per individual because our sources differ. For example, what the universe expects of me is not the same as what it expects of you, and vice versa for the rest of us. As you grow, your levels of expectation increases and the number of things required of you by life increases too. It is this expectation that brings about manifestations. It is what propels us to act; it’s the root of every human achievements. It’s because life is so naturally demanding, that we so often find ourselves responding spontaneously to its demand. Having said that, let me take you a little bit further, there is a factor between our expectation and its manifestation, a very vital determinant. In fact, it’s the link between the two; what brings the two to life and what destroys it. Without it, we cannot expect nor will we ever be able to manifest. That factor is LIFE.

Between what we expect (hope, desire, imagine, visualize) and what manifest’s lies the Life factor. Life is the foundation on which expectations are formed and its manifestations carried out. Life is the foundation of all expectations. All that we were, we are and are to become, can only be plausible as long as we have life. Immediately there is an absence of life, every of our expectations are gone. Every dream, assignment, purpose, aspirations, goals, and all the plans being made for their manifestations are terminated. Life is the force that gives birth to all that man was; is and is to become. Every invention, evolution, and civilization known to mankind was driven by this factor. Nothing that was made was made by itself. They were the expectations of men who used their life as a means for its manifestations. Once there is life so much can be done, without life nothing can be done. Since this is so, it can therefore be induced that without life all that we do, see and make happen in the world today would never have been a reality.

For example, if it weren’t for the gift of life, I wouldn’t be writing this article in the first place. Without life, there wouldn’t be any reason to address the real meaning of life. Without life, you wouldn’t be bothered about what’s right or wrong. And ultimately, without life none of us living today on earth would have been here. This leaves us with only one truth; all that happens in the world today came to be as a result of one invisible force that lies within us all – LIFE. Without this force, none of the things that we see or do would ever have been. So life in itself is the core of our existence. If all that we see came to be because of life and all that ever happened, were made possible as a result of life; then life really is not a force that we possess, but rather a force that possesses us. It is not something that we make happen; but a thing that enables us to make something happen. It is the force through which all other things that we see came to be. It is the means through which we make things happen. It is the channel, the avenue, the tool given to all mankind through which all that was made were possible. Life is the force that gives birth to everything else. All that we see and will later see will be made possible, only through life – that is, by making use of life.

Thus, in conclusion, the right definition of life is this; Life is a tool; a means to an end. The breath you carry in you, the life you profess to be yours, is not really yours - it’s for use. This is why men live and die, because at the end, your life will be required of you. This thing – life – which enables you do all that you were able to do, would be taken from you. It is not permanent; it’s temporary. It is given and some day will be taken. You would have to give it up when your appointed time comes.

Life as a tool – a means unto an end is the totality of life. The whole meaning of life is embedded in this statement. All other definitions of life are incomplete; they only focus on one aspect of life. This definition looks at life as a whole, putting into perspective all other definitions and opinions about life. The only reason why you breathe is because there is an end for you to meet. The life in you is the means unto that end. That is; you have been given life for the sole reason of fulfilling your destiny; your purpose on earth.

To aid your understanding better, here is a familiar illustration. Before a car can function or fulfill its specific purpose – drive; it has and must make use of a medium, a channel, a means of accomplishing this. It must be powered from within by a force, which eventually propels it to work and begin fulfilling its purpose – driving. That force, medium, channel or means, is the engine, without it nothing works! Now, let’s relate this to us humans. Before you can function as a person; you need a force from within. Because you’re an entity of your own; you have your specific purpose why you exist in the world. Like a car, you were created to solve or meet a particular need, and like every other thing of value or worth, you’re expected to perform. To perform, you need a force, which propels you to move, you need a means through which you can perform – that means, that force is LIFE. Without this element, the whole of your existence is worthless; you won’t stand a chance of meeting that end for which you were created. Without life, just as a car can’t function without its engine, we likewise cannot function as human beings. If the end is to fulfill a purpose, life therefore is the means or channel through which we humans fulfill our purpose. It’s a means unto an end, without the means, (life) there will be no end (fulfillment of purpose).

This life, because it’s the greatest determinant of how valuable our stay here on earth is or how worthless it can be, is given to all equally. No one seems to have more life than another; the difference lies in its usage. It’s appointed once for man to live, and once for man to die; you are the sole determinant of your life. Every man is given but one life and equal time, the value of your life is measured in terms of whether you fulfilled your purpose on earth or not. What ever manner you decide to use your life, is predominantly your decision to make. I have heard some people say, “I want to live a 100 years, so that I can have time to enjoy my life and do all that I came here to do”. Some have said, “He didn’t have enough time on earth, he died at a tender age”. Life is not measured in terms of length; it’s measured in terms of weight. It’s not a matter of how long you lived; it’s a matter of how well you lived. In the end, it’s not the years in your life that will count, but the life in your years.

THE MEANING OF LIFE (2)

WHAT THEN IS LIFE?

Life is not an option. Life is a matter of fact; it is real. Life is not personal. Life is universal; it affects everyone. Life is what binds us all. Life is a principle. A principle is the basic way something works. Therefore, life is the basic way all of creation works. Life is the basic way the universe works. Life is the basic way all that’s in the world works. The key word here is ‘the’. In English language, the word ‘the’ is called a definite article and it’s used to describe nouns (something) that is absolute, precise, certain, specific, distinct, fixed, and obvious. It’s unlike its other counterparts, the word ‘a’ and ‘an’ that are used to describe things that are general, indefinite, not particular and uncertain. The article ‘the’ denotes a fact and not a probability or speculation. It means a thing is exactly what it’s said to be. When being used in a sentence, both the hearer and the speaker both understands what is being communicated. It is not subject to individual preferences or opinions; it always describes what’s objective.

Thus, when I refer to life as a principle – the basic way all of creation works – this suggests that life is fundamental. It is the foundation on which everything else is built. It is a fact. One of the essential characteristics of a principle is that it is self-evident, which means; its opposite appears absurd; its opposite seems unthinkable and unimaginable. Now, let me put it across to you; try imagining a world without life. Try removing or separating life from everything else and see if anything else will work. Try thinking or picturing all that you’ve ever seen or done since you were born and now imagine yourself seeing or doing all of those things again, but this time, without life! Don’t be disturbed if you were unable to visualize this, that’s because it’s absurd, unthinkable and unimaginable. It’s self-evident. Life is everything. Life is the only thing. Life truly matters.

Over the years, people from different works of life have given life various definitions. Phrases like these; life is fun, life is a journey/adventure, life is a race, and life is what I make of it, are quite familiar to our ears. The problem with these phrases is that, people tend to make it the focus of their existence; they make it the center of their lives. While these claims of life may not be out rightly disannulled, it’s paramount I talk on them for proper comprehension so that individually, we can draw up a better understanding of each.

Life as Fun: Life in this context is viewed as pleasure; people with this mind-set centralize the whole of their living on getting pleasures from life. Nothing seems to be more important in life to them than having fun; from constant vacations, going to the movies, relaxations, partying, to everything which ultimately gives them pleasure. They tend to be lackadaisical in everything they do, since life is all about fun there is no need to be serious minded. They tend to be restless too, because there is no lasting fulfillment in pleasure, it’s only temporary, people with this view of life, are always in search of something new to do that will give them a higher degree of pleasure or fun. Their aim in life, is to enjoy all there is while alive and die having lived life to its “fullest”.

Life as a Journey: looking at life from this perspective has a lot to do with the end. People, who view life from this angle, are not very ambitious, they are submissive to any circumstance that crosses their way in life, and they believe that life has a definite end for them which cannot be altered. Whichever direction life takes them is what has been ordained for them, if anything happens to them, be it good or bad, they never seem not to worry, if it had to happen at all, then it’s there destiny - what fate has in stock for them. Life is a series of laid out events, events which they can neither question nor change. Although they believe in destiny, they never seek to find out their own destiny. The whole of their existence is based on the believe that, their life and whatever comes out of it, is guided by an infinite intelligence which eventually leads them to a happy ending. All they need do, is relax and enjoy the journey, everything is under control. They never take charge of their lives. Rather than take on the journey of life, they let life take them on a journey.

Life as an Adventure: unlike their counterparts who view life has a journey, people with this mind-set are more active and ambitious. They are goal getters, always out to do something new, breaking new grounds and accomplishing great tasks. They are focused and persistent about what they have set out to accomplish. Life to them is all about achievements; life is just another exciting territory to explore. They move from one thing to another, trying this and trying that, they are more like those seeking pleasures, always out for a greater task to accomplish. The difference being that, while they seek achievements, the fun lovers seek pleasures, by so doing they don’t discover their true purpose on earth. In a bid to try and taste all there is, they sacrifice their true assignment for temporary fulfillments. At the end of their lives, there aim is to have written and passed a lot of test they alone have set for themselves. Life to them is an endless search.

Life as a Race: from the moment they are born, they deem themselves qualified for the race of life. They want to crawl, walk and talk all in one day. In all they do, they do in a rush, with the aim of making it first to the end. Often times, the means is sacrificed for the end; process is subordinated for result. Learning how its done is not their concern, getting it done is all that counts. Life is measured in terms of speed. Who makes it first to the end? The finish line becomes the target and not the deeds; the number of lives or meaningful things one have accomplished. Their main focus is to get in the race, reach the finish line which ever way; right or wrong. Whether it’s the right race, the right way or track is irrelevant to them. A life viewed from this perspective, is one that is filled with irregularities. It’s like a child who would not wait to be taught, who goes ahead to sit for the test, what else can you expect if not a failure? It’s only normal because that which is skipped or short cut later re-surfaces and demands the due process of time. Life is not automatic. Speed isn’t everything. In fact, it’s worse than nothing if it moves you in the wrong direction faster and cheats you out of some of the best moments of the journey. To have a meaningful life, it takes a conscious and continuous effort and patience. You can’t cut corners and expect to have a full life, in the end; your life will be cut short. Unless you’re headed in the right direction, increasing your speed will only get you to the wrong place faster. In addition, you’ll miss many of the rich, satisfying moments of living along the way.

Life is what I make of it: Life generally to people with this mind-set is a marketplace. The only reason why we are here is to trade - to get something from life; to subtract rather than add. The whole of their action is guided by one question “what’s in it for me?” Life is about them, always seeking their own selfish interests. What they can make out of everything, nothing is given freely. If you see them smile, be careful, it’s because they have a favour to ask. They are self-centered in all they do, always out to get all they can, and can all they get. Life is a competition and their fellow humans are regarded as opponents. Rather than co-habiting cooperatively, they are often competitive; all they care about is “me, myself and mine”.

THE MEANING OF LIFE (1)

I was precisely ten years old when I started pondering about the meaning of life. The very thought of it, made me wonder what on earth were we all doing here? What good is living anyway, if someday you would eventually die? Why is living so synonymous with dying? How does one reconcile this paradox of life? I mean, how can I possibly really live a life that I will eventually have to give up –lose? To me, the whole idea of life was just too complex for anyone to really understand. It seemed like one big spider web in which all we humans are trapped and are endlessly struggling to get out from. The painful part is that we end up being strangled by the very web that has been holding us down. Life was just like a journey too wide for anyone to cover within the allocated space of time. It seems at the end, that we always run out of time. Since there is so much to be done, we are caught up in the struggle of life; consistently trying to do all that we can within the given space of time. Then what is the joy of being here, if we are not allowed enough time to do all that we want? Deep down within me, I knew there’s something deeper. There had to be some explanation, a reason for life; one other than just living and dying – a reason other than mere existence.

In my own opinion, I could see a beginning and an end; the time of our birth; when we were born and the time of our death; when we die. What I didn’t quite understand were the moments in between; the moments between our birth and our death – the moments of life. So I made a commitment to make understanding the real meaning of life my priority. The challenge then was this; what more is there to life other than just living and dying – existence? As I grew, I discovered I wasn’t the only one with this challenge. Many others like me were equally battling with this paradox of life – existence; merely living and dieing. It was now evident, life truly is complex. It is complex in the sense that it requires a lot of things from us that have to be done. Once you have life, sooner or later you will discover the painful truth about life. Which is; that having life means existence – being alive and to be alive requires survival – staying alive. And to be alive means only one thing; survival – that you’re not dead. It’s this quest for survival that has made the very idea of life very confusing and complicated. Survival means staying alive. And everyone including myself wants to stay alive – we all want to survive.

This hunger for survival has been genetically encoded into our very being. It’s a natural inclination to want to survive – stay alive. The problem as I discovered with many over the years while studying and pondering over this subject, is not whether they want to survive, but rather, whether they desire more than mere survival. In today’s world so much has been misappropriated in the quest for success and personal achievements. Everyone is on the fast track; the very essence of life is gradually dwindling off the minds of many. In the rush to meet up with the daily demands of our personal, social and corporate lives, so much has been exchanged for life in its true sense. Life and its real meaning is unclear to many, material possessions, personal accomplishments, the setting and achievements of goals all tend to becloud the reason why we are here in the first place. This is the essence of this material, to examine our day to day activities, our motives and ask ourselves this; are we just here to make a living or we are here to make a life?

Take a minute out of your busy schedule for the day and ponder on these questions; on what platform am I really building my life? Is it on the things that external factors, like the media, our peers, our parents or even the society as a whole have conditioned us to believe really matters or those we know deep within us are what matters? If you drop dead today, of what good would be the breath you had in you all these years? Of what value would be your life? If your life was weighed on some scale, of what value would your existence be? What would be the worth of your life? Would it be equal to the things you want, have or desire? Would it be equal to those things that would outlive you? Success, fame, power, money, material possessions, are these all there is to life? To be able to answer these questions, you must be willing to sit down and weigh your life. Before you can accurately weigh your life, it’s necessary we all understand what life truly means.

WHAT EXACTLY IS THINKING?

“Thought is action in rehearsal”

- Sigmund Freud

According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary, ‘thinking’ means the use of the mind to consider something; to form connected ideas; to try to solve problem(s). It also means; to have ideas, words or images in your mind; to intend something; to have a plan about something.

Hence, ‘thinking’ can be defined as the art of using the mind to generate ideas, find solutions to problems and to formulate a plan or strategy for implementing the ideas or solutions generated. Put succinctly, thinking is the art of creating answers or solutions to existing problems. It involves primarily the use of the mind, which means ‘thinking’ cannot be seen, but imagined; it can’t be touched, because it’s invincible. Thinking occurs on the inside, which makes it passive and not active. It’s not something you do (action) but something done through you (inspiration). The ‘art of thinking’ is like the art of conception; the two of them are similar since they are both internally formed and can yield results that are externally visible. Since the end point of ‘thinking’ is the generation of ideas; and conception leads to the creation of babies, then ideas, like babies, are not something we create (do) but rather are creations (something done through us).

This is why ‘thinking’ is regarded as an ‘ART’ and not an ‘ACT’; because it’s only after thinking that we discover the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ to do. That is; the knowledge of ‘what’ to do and ‘how’ to do is derived from thinking. Hence, it’s not an action in itself, but has the potential to produce an action or course of action. The art (inspiration) of thinking produces an act (action). Thinking is our spirit in action. While thinking, all may be still and motionless on the outside, yet so much could be happening on the inside. You could be physically seated on the outside, and yet in your mind’s eye through the process of thinking you could be standing or running. It is a journey which takes place internally; the process involves going out of one’s immediate circumstance or situation and connecting into the imagination through the subconscious mind. Thinking is looking for options that are not physically seen or present and giving birth to things that didn’t exist before.

‘Thinking’ going by its definition has mainly two objectives. Firstly, to generate ideas or find solutions to existing problems, and secondly, to formulate the generated ideas or solutions into plans or strategies that can be implemented. Combining these two objectives, the essence of thinking is to birth new ideas or find solutions to existing problems and converting the ideas generated or solutions found into workable plans. This is the sole essence of thinking; anything short of these two is another exercise, the opposite of thinking known as worrying. If after thinking you are unable to draw up a plan of action based on the ideas or solutions you generated, then you’ve just finished ‘worrying’ and have not been thinking.

THINKING vs WORRYING

“Worry is like rocking a chair – it gives you something to do but won’t take you anywhere.”

Worrying is “thinking” aimlessly; not having a definite purpose or objective in mind. It’s focusing on a problem and all its negative attributes rather than focusing on possible solutions. When we worry, we keep going round a particular problem and never being able to arrive at any possible solution. We think of all the other things associated with a problem, except its solution. When faced with a problem, ‘worrying’ is the medium through which we propound the problem. Rather than looking beyond the problem to arrive at a possible solution, ‘worrying’ looks inside the problem so that it can come up with any suitable explanation. Worrying is a negative emotional state. Thinking is a rational process. One has a negative outcome, the other a positive outcome. Worrying has never been known to solve a problem; rather it enlarges them. When you spend your time focusing on the negative side of an issue or problem, looking at things only from the unpleasant angle; then you are worrying and not thinking. If all you ever do is pointing accusing fingers or looking for explanations for your inactions and predicaments, then you are worrying.

Thinking leaves you motivated, inspired, eager and refreshed; worrying leaves you depressed, de-motivated, sorrowful, and angry with yourself. Thinking is searching for options and solutions; worrying is searching for excuses and explanations. Thinking liberates – it sets your passion loose, it ignites your creativity. Worrying depresses – it shuts down all your creativity, weakens your passion and awakens all your negative emotions. You can never come out of ‘worrying’ and feel better than you went in; NO! You will always feel worse than you were before you started worrying. This is because worrying is counter productive, it’s a negative exercise. It can never produce anything fruitful.

Thinking is productive, it’s an attempt to generate answers or solutions to problems and not an attempt to create more problems or find excuses for the existing ones. While thinking aims at finding a way out of a problem, worrying tries to find a way to justify the problem by putting the blame on something or someone else. Thinking is progressive; it leads forward and gives you a new direction. It focuses on lessons learnt from mistakes made; it’s ever ready to accept corrections. It’s projective – opens up new ways. Worrying is regressive; it always leads backward trying to justify your present condition or situation. It’s starting with the things you cannot do or have limited resources to do. Worrying is refusing to change; doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result. It’s thinking about the ‘good old days’. Worrying focuses mainly on one’s weaknesses, keeping records of all the things one is unable to get, the things you don’t have. It’s playing the blame game; “if only this …, then ……. That”.

Worrying is not the same as thinking. To ‘think’ means to birth, generate ideas or solutions and to draw up plans or strategies for implementation. ‘Worry’ on the other hand, is focusing on a problem and all the unpleasant things surrounding that problem. Thinking is the deliberate use of the mind to achieve a specific end; this end could either be (1) a generated idea or solution and (2) a formulated plan or strategy. This implies that the ‘art of thinking’ always has a specific agenda it wants to accomplish; it’s never an exercise in futility. Each time we think, at the back of our mind there’s always a set aim or objective we want to accomplish, this could be a pressing problem or need. Thus, thinking is the medium through which we work out the ideas or solutions and formulate plans or strategies that can be implemented to accomplish our desired aim or objective. ‘Thinking’ as a rule, must always yield a solution and not just a conclusion. A solution is a way out of a problem; a conclusion is an explanation for a problem. Within every problem lies both a difficulty and a possibility; thinking is searching for the possibilities while worrying is searching for the difficulties. This is what clearly differentiates thinking from worrying; because the former produces a course of action (solution), while the later finds a reason for inaction (conclusion).

There are two ways to tell whether you’ve been thinking or worrying. First, by asking yourself this; “what exactly am I focusing on, the problem or a solution”? If your focus is totally on the problem; then you are worrying, but if your focus is on finding a possible solution; then you are thinking. For example, if a person’s problem is that he doesn’t have a job, ‘thinking’ would be to search for a possible solution – “how can I get a job?” while ‘worrying’ would be to try to justify the situation – “why is it so hard to get a job?”. The emphasis here is on result, what exactly do you want, a solution to the problem or an explanation for the problem. The second way to tell whether you’ve been thinking or worrying is by looking at your mood. If you’ve been thinking, you will feel very excited, uplifted and energized, you will have a strong urge to immediately implement the ideas or solutions you’ve been able to generate. And if you’ve been worrying on the other hand, then the opposite is the case. You’ll feel weak, upset, downcast and self pity will immediately set in. Rather than generating ideas or solutions, you’d have succeeded in creating more issues to brood over. The bottom-line is this; Thinking is reasoning with the mind; worrying is reasoning with the heart; one is rational, the other emotional. I’ll conclude with this beautiful quote by Denis Waitley, I think it’s a perfect summary; “Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer”.

VISION VS PURPOSE -Understanding the basics

Vision is a picture of a preferable future. It is a thing you create with your imagination and then make visible plans on how to achieve it. Vision involves painting a better life for oneself and deciding to do all that you can to bring it to pass. It’s not by force; it’s a choice .Its making a choice to pursue the preferred life of your choice. It’s not the same as purpose.

Purpose is not a picture that you paint, it’s a call that must be obeyed – answered. It’s not a thing you created, it’s a thing created for you. Purpose is not within your power to create, it’s a thing you discover by asking your maker. Purpose is your destiny; it is a question of intention. And intention is not a matter of choice, but a matter of source. The intention of a thing is not in the hand of the invention, but in the hand of the inventor. You cannot know the purpose (intention) of a thing by asking the thing (invention), but rather by asking the maker of the thing (inventor).

God is our creator and thus the only source of our purpose – intention. It’s only the inventor of a thing that can accurately define and explain the intended use of that thing (purpose). Purpose lies in our source and not in our choice. It’s not the same as a vision, for it’s bigger than a vision. Vision is only an instrument of fulfilling purpose. Purpose is the end; vision a means to an end. Purpose is life from God’s perspective; Vision is life from man’s perspective. We as humans have visions; God as our maker gives us purpose. Purpose is what God thinks of your life. The former is how the creator (inventor) sees the life of the creature (invention) while the later is how the creature sees its own life.

Purpose is the reason why the creature exists – the essence of existence. Vision is the dream of the creature – the quest for fulfillment. Purpose comes from above, vision is from the inside. Purpose is your intended life; Vision is your preferred. One is ordained long before you were made, the other you strive to attain after you were made. Purpose is what you are here to do (intention), vision is how much you want to do what you are here to do (aspiration). Purpose is the essence of existence; vision the extent of your existence. It’s not up to you to choose your purpose; it’s assigned to you by the one who intended you. You were neither present nor were aware when your purpose was being defined. It is chosen and determined by your maker without your consent or knowledge.

Purpose is what brought you to existence. You don’t exist to choose your purpose; you exist for a purpose. It’s because there was a need (intention) that’s why you were created (intended) as a solution to that need. You are a solution to an existing problem. You don’t question purpose; you submit, obey purpose. No creature questions the intentions of the creator. Your job on earth is to find and follow your purpose. The usefulness of an invention can only be explained by the inventor and not the other way. Conclusively, purpose is the intent of the creator, and it is to be obeyed and followed.

Nevertheless, choosing your vision is totally up to you. It’s your responsibility to align your vision with your purpose. Vision has to do with how far you want to carry out your purpose. Vision is a question of size – to what extent do you want to follow and carry out your purpose? How far do you want to go in the direction of your purpose? Vision is painting a picture of how you want to fulfill your purpose. It’s how you see yourself fulfilling your purpose. If purpose is destiny – the end; vision therefore is legacy – the means to the end. Your vision should lead you to fulfill your purpose. Vision leads, while purpose follows. Vision is the extent, purpose the intent. The secret and balance of the two; is using your life according to God’s perspective and creating a vision that conforms to that perspective.